We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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