Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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