Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
