so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
