Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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