haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
They have beer where we have blood.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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