She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
