I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Someone shattered a urinal.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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