pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize