ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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