Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
