i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
