Need sex. Gaining weight.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
