I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
