someone threw a dead crab at me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
