Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You ate ashes out of my bong
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
