Just fell off a train. Bad.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
