dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
