The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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