Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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