The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
