Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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