when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
