i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
