I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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