I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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