Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
