would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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