True but thats because hes a fetus.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
