Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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