Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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