So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
