hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
