Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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