I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
