is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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