It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize