just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What changed your mind?
Being sober
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
