sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
