That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
