if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize