Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
