I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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