have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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