This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
