I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
