I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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