every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
