im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
