sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
