help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
