sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
