So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
