It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
