he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
