Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Watching her eat just hurts me
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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