so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
