So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
