the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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