So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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