I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
