wat bout pragnant strippers??
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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