We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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