peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think my vagina is haunted
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
