bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
