Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
