So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
