So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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